Embracing a Journey of Rediscovery
You all know how much I love running, right?
Real talk – Postpartum was rough for me. I was really surprised by this after having such a great pregnancy! I felt good and was able to run until about 7 months. I stopped running and started walking with my doctor’s guidance due to getting gestational hypertension.
The one word that I was able to come up with for me during the postpartum period was “raw”. Your emotions are raw, and you really don’t feel yourself. But YOU’RE NOT anymore! You’re an entirely new person, taking care of a tiny little new person and you’re trying to figure it all out. It’s a lot! Looking back I wish I could’ve seen this. I thought that if I could get back to running I would feel more like ME.
Now that I am 14 months postpartum, I’ve had a lot of physical, mental and emotional growth. So I want to share with you certain moments for me during my postpartum journey to hopefully help you navigate yours! Buckle up, yall! This is a long one!
The First Run Back: Reality Hits
Ah, that first run. Or attempt at a run. I was about 8 weeks postpartum. Mentally, I was ready and I couldn’t wait! I had “clearance” from my doctor, I had done all the diaphragmatic breathing & pelvic floor connection exercises. I thought my initial postpartum incontinence was no longer an issue. I had even been walking about 30 minutes a day.
This was a period when I was toying with the idea of working out after baby girl had gone to bed. (I do not recommend by the way.) I hopped on the treadmill and started with a conservative walk to warmup. Then gradually increased to an easy pace. My hips felt heavy, things just felt “off”, and my breathing was very labored. Within minutes I started to pee.
I felt defeated and frustrated. I think what bothered me the most was the peeing. It’s almost as if I couldn’t trust my body to do what it had done for years and I didn’t know how to fix it. This was not going to be as fast as I wanted it to be. So after trying over and over for a few nights, I knew I had to reset my expectations. I knew I had to start slow, listen to my body and appreciate every step I was able to run.
Facing Reality and Embracing Patience
After seeing my pelvic floor physical therapist. I found out I had a tight pelvic floor. So all the kegels in the world weren’t going to fix my bladder issues – only make them worse. She gave me things I could do to get my pelvic floor to relax (more on that in another post), then we began “loading” my pelvic floor with strength exercises. My goal was to focus on strength and getting ready to be able to run by the time my daughter was 6 months and it was safe for her to be in the jogging stroller. That was the deadline I set for myself.
Little did I know, neither of us were ready by the time 6 months rolled around.
She hated the jogging stroller and frankly, I wasn’t physically ready to start running. I had re-aggrevated a previous knee injury and had to start physical therapy for that. This was another disappointment that was really hard to take. I struggled so much with comparison to other runners and their postpartum timelines. Those women out there training for marathons and I couldn’t even run a few minutes. It wasn’t easy but I kept trying. Trying to force a few run/walk sessions with her in the stroller ended in tears (for both of us) within 5-10 minutes of the run. I knew we needed more time.
I would wait a week and try again. Same tearful runs. I waited a month…. and finally.
7 months postpartum, we started run walking! Baby girl was actually enjoying the stroller! I tried several things that helped us, you can find them here. We started with small intervals of running 30 seconds, walking 4:30 for 6 times. I began to gradually increase my running intervals as I felt ready.
What exactly was “ready”? If I wasn’t having bladder leakage, I felt strong, I was breathing more efficiently I added slightly more running time. This took a while. I decided not to rush it. I began to embrace where I was at. And stroller running – it’s not easy! Depending on your situation, this may be the only option you have to get out for a run! I dealt with a lot of postpartum anxiety so I was more than happy to keep my daughter with me along for the ride!
I was run walking about 3 days a week and strength training and walking 2-3 days a week. I felt like I was finally finding my groove! I could feel my confidence coming back. I felt like “myself” again. I was far from running what I used to as maintenance mileage but I was happy doing what I could during that season.
The First Time Feeling Strong and Stable
By around 10-11 months postpartum I was running the entire 30 minutes (with a baby snack break at every mile). And I was proud! I was finally feeling truly strong and stable in my stride after really focusing on my pelvic and and core strength and slowly increasing my running. I was slowly increasing endurance for my pelvic floor.
I was feeling more confident by this point and trusting in my body. I was so excited to have this part of my life back, running felt like “home” again. I was even more excited to share something I loved with my daughter. That time with her is something that only her and I share and I am so grateful I have that with her.
Finding a Stroller Friendly Race: Our first Mother Daughter Race!
I decided I we were ready to get out and do a race together! For my birthday weekend I was able to find a stroller friendly 5k. This was the absolute best! I had dreamed of one day doing a race with my baby for years! We did great too! That feeling of passing people running while you’re pushing your daugher is the best!
Reaching a Major Goal
I’m now signed up to run the Richmond Half Marathon soon. I haven’t been specifically training for it with quality speed work and a specific training plan. I haven’t even run a half marathon in several years! I felt the urge to do this to just get out and have fun and be out in the running community. I guess you might say it’s a celebration of how far I’ve come in the past year and where my running as the new ME is going to take me!
Conclusion: Embracing the Journey and Celebrating Every Step
If I could tell other women going through their postpartum journey and returning to running, I would tell them to embrace each milestone, no matter how big or small, and to focus on what you CAN do right now so that you can eventually do what you WANT to do. Give yourself grace, take your time and enjoy the journey and honor your personal progress in your own return-to-running journey!
If you need help returning to running postpartum, I’d love to help! Check out my coaching options HERE!
